Eighth Musing- To be or, to not be?

  Hello World.

Take a deep breath first.  (No, seriously do it. I'm waiting.)

Oh, no matter how many times I think about this and come to a solution, it is always in vain. 
I am talking about this monster- Putting yourself in someone else's shoes aka mindfulness, thinking from the other perspective. 

Even while writing this entry my mind is filled with arguments, oppositions, counter oppositions, and so on. Wait, isn't this what they call overthinking? Where does the boundary of thinking carefully and meticulously end and the one of overthinking begin?

I was talking to my sir about how futile these online PTMs are. It is just an allotted time where teachers tell the students what they already know- they need to study. The parent complains that my ward doesn't study at all, watches the screen, and sleeps all day.  (Definitely not my mom in front of my teachers and non-teaching faculty.) The teacher at this point will try to either coax the student, or try to find out what the hindrance is, which most of the time the student is already aware of, or the teacher will be stern and warn the student about ruining their future if they continue this habit. Fine. 

Might have an impact on the student. The student will ask the teacher how to study. The teacher will say to read the textbook, solve the workbooks provided, and keep revising. The reason I find this parent-teacher interaction thing futile is that I believe it's more of a ''parent venting their frustration about their ward's dedication towards their education to the helpless teachers.''

The teachers, parents, and students, all three already know what the solution is- the kid needs to open the book and start.

My mom sternly said, '' All your friends will become doctors, you keep reading chats. '' 

My sir began laughing and said this is an excellent quality of mine, being able to understand what the other person must be feeling or going through. I am absolutely against this. I have the opinion that perhaps I practiced the ''view-counterview'' a bit more than necessary. 

Let me give you some examples. 

1) I want to celebrate my birthday. 

View- Should ask parents for money or throw a wild party along with friends. I'll ask for a new phone, some new trendy clothes, pamper myself (gaming arcade or massage spa you get the flow, right?), or order takeout food.

Counterview- Should not ask for money or throw a wild party with friends because it is my parents' hard-earned money that can be a part of funding my education or further some indirect investments like mutual fund investments, savings, or future purchases. A party with friends can be done once I earn my own money. (I will not do it even then I really don't know. ) Also, I have anxiety about wearing party clothes because I feel unsafe and uncomfortable. (Knowing that wearing fun and chic clothes makes me uncomfortable because it makes me feel unsafe, triggers and angers me equally. ) My phone works simply fine, and as Mumma rightly says, the role of a phone should be for calling (safety)purposes. I don't need a new phone. Why buy clothes, my cupboards can barely contain the clothes I already have. (Yet, I never have any clothes to wear.) It is not the age to pamper myself, in fact, I must exhaust myself by developing my mind and body (by exercising). I do not need expensive make-up (I don't know how to apply make-up, so not wearing make-up is better than looking like a clown.) Do I really want to celebrate my years of existence by eating junk food and ruining my health? Is that necessary? It's a waste of money I can make (ask Nani to make) delicious dosas and other foods I like. If we were to go out, then Mumma would have to take some time off her work, and though she will get paid leaves, it will result in her missing her work. Perhaps she will lose an edge in the employee promotion rat race. I don't want that to happen. 

2) I want to meet XYZ friend.

View- It's been a long time since we met. I miss my friend. I want to spend some time with my friend. People need to remember about my existence, and I need to be social. I need to have some friends. 

Counterview- It doesn't matter if I am not social at this age. What matters at this age is to dedicate myself to achieving enough to be eligible for my future career interests. Socializing is a distraction, a waste of time and money. You can be in touch with that friend on social media too. You have all the time for friends when you are grown up and settled. The XYZ friend must be having commitments of their own. I could have been studying the time I would be spending to meet this friend. 

3) I want to participate in XYZ competition/exam.

View- It will look good in my list of achievements. If I work hard enough, I might get a prize. It will be an effective way of testing my knowledge.

Counterview- having a good list of achievements won't really mean anything to colleges unless I were to apply abroad, and if I really were to pursue medicine then again, these achievements would not mean anything. Most exams and competitions need fees to be paid, so again parents' money is involved, if I don't win, then it would be a waste. I know it would be because I see my medals rusting in a corner no one can see. They are in deplorable condition. Most of the exams will require time investment in terms of preparation, which means I won't be able to study my syllabus. 

4) I want to buy cup noodles. 

View- It is delicious. I like it. It is quite addicting.

Counterview- It is made of all-purpose flour, it is not at all healthy, there are added preservatives to keep the dry vegetables edible. It makes me gain weight (temporarily), and it makes my health conditions worse. It contains vast amounts of salts, spices, and kansui (the thing which makes it so addictive), MSG. Also, it is expensive. They raised the prices of Nissin Cup noodles, meaning I will lean towards ordering off Amazon at a discounted price, meaning more purchases, leading to indirectly more money-spending. 

Do you understand my situation?

If you have noticed, I am strongly cheap, cheap to such an extent that even Mumma gets angry. 

They always teach you to think about how the other person is feeling, to understand their side of the story, to give them the benefit of the doubt, to be empathetic, and have a tolerant understanding of different views of a particular topic of discussion.

I, beg to differ. I think that with such massive thinking going on, your poor brain will end up without making any decision, and will leave it for later, (This leads to my conclusion that most overthinkers are colossal procrastinators as well.) Be confused. I'm not saying the following is true, but people do consider people without opinions as weak and ignorant. 

If you want to understand what I am talking about, go to any politically active person's social media, or ask anyone who used/uses social media to express their political opinions. There are always extremists, moderates, dormant persons, the confused persons' category, and then the ones who don't really do anything.

So go ahead, champion, assert your bold dominance.

Have you learned a new thing here?

If not, here's a quote to make your time here worthwhile. 

" Calm down.''

Note- By the way, I absolutely hate error or lack of flair in my writings so if you do come across a 'petty' spelling error, poor choice of words, a misspelled word or a wrongly placed period or a comma, do let me know as I would highly appreciate it! If you have suggestions on how I could do better, keep them to yourself because this wouldn't be a nutcase's musing then, would it?

Until next time and further, on my darlings, be nutcase-worthy.

Yours,

The Scintillating Nutcase.